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I haven't posted in nearly forever because of school. I'm very busy right now. Band till six, takes me an hour to eat, bunch of homework, balancing homework, calling my girlfriend, and sleeping. I didn't get to sleep until midnight last night.


21st- pride parade, must make my best friend reschedule her birthday get together
17th, 1 year and 1 month anniversary.
27th- Drumline Competition. So nervous. so nervous i nearly forgot how to spell nervous.


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Oh wait?

I'm kinda mad.
Mickey calls, and we start talking and I mention that I want to hang out with Jen tomorrow. She said that she thought that WE were hanging out. She sounded kinda mad. I don't like how she assumed that we were hanging out. I mean, there's nothing really wrong with it. I just really want to hang out with my best friend because we haven't had time together in forever. I really want to volunteer with her because that's what we've been planning to do since the end of school.
I got all mad at her and didn't talk to her. I asked if should go, and she started to talk about nothing before saying that i was quiet again. Well, yeah. She thought I wanted to go to bed, so she let me. I didn't want to lie to her (Even though I did) but I didn't feel like talking either.

I was trying to get some creative energy going when she made me angry.
She kept going "are you okay?" "are you down?" "is there something i did?" "are you mad at something?"
  • Current Mood
    irate irate
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sexiness.

Do you know what I find undenyably sexy in a woman?
The ability to be mean, scornful, stern, and even bitchy.
There's just something so sexy in a scary woman.
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A decision! Gasp!


I am not going to start taking antidepressants. I will not allow something so unnecessary to happen. I know for a fact that I can get through whatever I may be feeling. I have done it before and I cannot give up. I know where I've been and I know that this is nothing. I am going to start going to yoga once a week and going out walking every two days. I'm gonna let the sunlight onto my skin. I'm going to volunteer more and smile often. I'm going to get out of my house and spend time with my friends. I'm going to stand up to my fears and face my problems.
Next Monday, I'm telling my doctor NO. I don't even know why I need to go. I'm fine without "the" pill and I hope for the best.
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Frustration

Damn, I sneezed funny and now I have a headache.

I keep thinkin' about that girl from TCM. She' s cute and we're alike. She's 22. I think I'm just mostly excited that I can make friends.

I was so bored earlier. WoW pissed me off so I  got onto myspace. I sent a bunch of ppl random pictures from the search of their name in photobucket. It got people talking to me and made me feel better. Called Mickey at 1.30 after she texted me, saying that she is just getting off of work.

I'm not tired. I kinda want to go to bed because my face hurts from smiling and looking at the screen for hours. but I don't want to sleep. I won't be able to.
:)
Sorta had a good day.

I had one meal, and it was CiCi's.
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burn burn burn your life down.

all I did today was play wow. made a couple new friends. our priest got stuck in barrels.
 
Forest went to Bradly's.
Dad and I went to Sali's. Had some Mancotti. Yuummy yummy yummy. I think he feels lonely without Mom home.
Didn't feel so depressed today.

I don't really like my "little meats" on my stomach, but I don't really have the energy to work on it. I want to, but I don't feel like it.
It just used to be better. Abs are sexy.

Was just mostly insecure today. Not very much. Mostly bodily.

Posted question in lez community, great success. :)

Didn't really feel like talking today either.
Now I feel nauseated (not nauseous because that means i make ppl want to puke)
and my eyes are really red.
I know I'm tired when I monologue to myself in the mirror.
Alliteration!


  • Current Music
    me talking nto myself.